The Hours【時時刻刻】

導　　演： 史蒂芬戴爾卓（Stephen Daldry）
製　　片： 羅勃福克斯（Robert Fox）
　　　　　 史考特魯汀（Scott Rudin
編　　劇： 大衛海爾（David Hare）
　　　　　 原著麥可康寧漢（Michael Cunningham）普立茲獎得主
演　　員： 妮可基嫚（Nicole Kidman）Virginia Woolf
　　　　　 梅莉史翠普（MerylStreep）Clarissa Vaughan
　　　　　 茱莉安摩爾（Julianne Moore）Laura Brown
　　　　　 艾德哈里斯（Ed Harris）Richard Brown


Mrs. Dalloway said that she would buy the flowers herself.
　　　　　 　　　　　 　　　　　 　　　　　 　　　　　 – Virginia Woolf

It started with a river, and it ended with a river. What’s death? And what is life? Virginia said that death is we return to the place that we came from. But none of us remember where we came from.
故事始於河流，也終於河流。死亡是什麼？而生命又是什麼？Virginia說，死亡，就是回到我們來自的地方。只不過，沒有人記得我們究竟從何而來。

If life has its purpose, and what is it? Is it to die? Is it to live? Is it to live for someone? Is it to live for yourself, your soul? And what if someday I wake up, and feel nothing for anything. What am I going to do? To die? To end my life?
如果生命有目的，又該是什麼？是慢慢走向長眠嗎？是僅僅為了生存嗎？是為了某個人而活嗎？是為了自己活著嗎？為了自己的靈魂活著嗎？那，如果有一天，你倏然清醒，忽然發現自己不再感受了，該怎麼辦？自殺？終結自己的存在？

Sometimes we do live for others, and sometimes we don’t. However, it’s easy to feel the huge emptiness inside you, once you realize that the part you stay alive for others is heavier than the part for yourself. And it was what Laura Brown’s facing. One day she woke up, and found herself lived in a circle of routine. Do the housework. Take care of her child. Wait for her husband to come home. She said, “They deserved it, didn't they?” At the age, men were heroes. They sacrificed themselves for the country, so that the women, the children, and the rest of all could live. So they deserved it. And what do the women deserve?
有那麼些時候，我們為了其他人而活著；而又有那麼些時候，我們不是為了他們而存。可，一但你醒悟到為了其他人而活的那一半，遠遠大於為自己而活的那一半時，巨大的空虛感不費吹灰之力便能將你擊倒。這就是Laura Brown的處境。某天，她一覺醒來，卻發現自己的生活不過就是日復一日的重複工作。打理家務、照顧孩子、等待丈夫下班返家。她說：「他們理當得到這些的，不是嗎？」在那個年代，男人就是英雄。他們為了國家犧牲自我，好讓女人、小孩、其他的那些人都能夠得到平靜的生活。所以這些是他們應得的。那，女人又有什麼是她們應得的？

The females are larger and less colourful. – Virginia Woolf

Laura had a house, a wonderful husband, a lovely boy, and a perfect family. Still, she was not happy. She loved her son, for sure, but that’s not enough for a soul. She needed to love her, herself, or the girlfriend, who she could never go across the line for. Her love and emotions and feelings could not support her life, and it’s slowly killing her. So she drove.
Laura擁有一間有白柵欄的平房、體貼的丈夫、可愛的兒子，一個美滿的家庭。可，她並不快樂。她是愛她兒子的，毫無疑問，可是，這對一個靈魂來說，不夠。她渴望去愛自己，也渴望去愛一個，她永遠也無法越界愛著的女朋友。她的情緒、她的感情、她的內心沒有辦法支撐住她的生命，這一切正在慢慢地殺死她。於是她只能離開。

“What I want to say is that I owe all the happiness of my life to you. You have been entirely patient with me and incredibly good. Everything is gone for me, but the certainty of your goodness. I can't go on spoiling your life any longer. I don't think two people could have been happier than we have been.”

Lenard loved Virginia, without questions. He took her away from London, from the noise, the hustle and bustle so she could avoid the madness circling in her head. It’s out of love, but that’s not Virginia needed. Her husband’s care for her was pushing her to the edge of breakdown, and she had no place to run. It was this sacrifice that made Virginia think that she stole Lenard’s life. For her, everyone should have their own lives. Her death should be a release. It should free both of their souls.
Lenard深愛著Virginia，這點無庸至疑。他帶她遠離倫敦，遠離喧鬧，遠離那些庸庸擾擾，好讓那些在她腦海中不斷打轉的、那些快逼瘋她的念頭停息。這都是出於愛，只不過，Virginia需要的不是這個。她丈夫無微不至的照顧令她窒息，正將她一步步推向崩潰的邊緣，而她無處可逃。就是這樣子的犧牲令Virginia感覺自己綁架了Lenard的生命。對於她而言，每個人都應該擁有自己的人生。她的死該是場救贖。該解放彼此被對方綑綁、束縛的靈魂。

“Mrs. Dalloway, it's you. I've stayed alive for you...but now you have to let me go.” –Richard Brown

She lives in now. She can love whoever she wants. She has a beautiful daughter, even though she doesn’t know who her father is. Clarissa Vaughan’s been nursing her ex-boyfriend for years; he loves her and she loves him; they both know that. But something’s missing. She does what seems to be happy for her, but she just can’t be. Her faked smile breaks at the moment she suddenly realizes that the feeling she owned, the best moment they owned, has gone away, and will never come back.
她活在現在。她可以愛她想愛的人。她有個美麗的女孩，雖然說她甚至不知道女孩的父親身分。Clarissa Vaughan照護著前男友好多年了；他愛她，她也愛他；他們都知道。可是，卻還是少了那麼點什麼。她做著會讓心情愉快的事情，不過，她就是快樂不起來。虛假的微笑在她突然明白，他們曾經有擁有過，最美好、最完美的時光再也無法倒流時，瞬間崩解了。那些時光早已遠走，而且不再回頭。

Richard, who she once loved most, now sees her life trivial. He sees through her, more than she would admit. Their lives are tied up; so do their souls. He kills himself to make her go, to make her move on. And he does it.
就連Richard，她曾最深愛過的男人，現在認為她的生命微不足道。他看透她，直接穿透她，比她願意承認的還要更多。他們的生命彼此糾纏；靈魂也一般。他殺了自己，好逼她放手，好逼她向前走。

Someone has to die in order that the rest of us should value life more.

What does a woman need to make her life complete? What does a soul need to make it complete? What do we live for? Not for somebody’s wishes. Not for the expectation of the society. I should, and will live for someone or things I love, because as I do so, I live for me. Just me.
什麼能夠成就一個女人的生命？什麼能夠成就一個靈魂？我們究竟為什麼而活？不該是為了他人的希望，也不該是為了社會的期待。我，應該，也會為了我愛的人和事活下去，因為就在我這麼做的同時，我是為了自己而活。為自己而活。

The hours.
The moments.
The ordinary ones are often the beautiful ones, and the solitary ones.
這些分秒。
這些時刻。
這些最平常的分分秒秒、時時刻刻，通常是最美麗的那些，卻往往也是最孤寂的那些。


英文課看完後寫的心得。原本是用英文書寫的，之後再翻譯成中文，所以有一點點不太通順。也和其他篇的心得有小小的不一樣。


延伸閱讀：
StarBlvd：時時刻刻【The Hours】